Apparently I have a hard time listening. That must be why God keeps showing me people who also had a hard time listening and eventually heard, trusted, and obeyed.
When most people think of Moses they are stunned by his leadership. When God called Moses to free the people of Eygpt, do you know what his response was? In Exodus 3 and 4 Moses first asked who was he to do such a job. Remember, Moses was 80 at the time. God said that when he was done freeing the people, he’d bring him back to the same mountain to worship Him. Moses argued with the question of who should I say sent me. God said to tell them I AM sent you. Moses wasn’t convinced so he asked what to do if the people didn’t believe him that he’d seen God. God worked the miracle of changing the rod to the serpent and back again. He showed him how He would make his hand leprous and then clean again. He told him that he could take water and throw it to the ground and it would turn to blood. Moses squirmed and said that he wasn’t eloquent with words and was slow of speech and tongue. God reminded Moses who made him and his mouth. Moses finally stopped beating around the bush and just said to pick someone else. God said he’d still send Moses, and he’d provided Aaron to speak for Moses. Moses finally listened, and we have the first 5 books of the Bible because he listened and obeyed.
In Judges 6 and 7, Gideon was threshing wheat in a wine press because he was afraid his enemies would see him and steal the wheat. The Angle of the LORD appears to him and calls him to a mighty warrior and tells him to fight against his enemies. Gideon says that he is the least in his family and that his tribe is the weakest in Israel. Basically, who am I to do such a thing? Aren’t I presently working in hiding out of fear of my enemies? But God doesn’t give up on Gideon. He even puts up with Gideon’s tests in order to show his faithfulness. Gideon acted in faith and first torn down the alters to Baal, and the idle standing next to it. He later went out to destroy his enemies. Gideon had finally listened, and his people were refocused on God for it.
God has been telling me to trust Him. He won’t leave me when the pressure to meet the state’s increasing bar of perfection (all students should be proficient,score 80% or higher on the CST, in a few years) continues to raise a little higher each year. He isn’t caught of guard when my student do poorly on math tests because they are English Language Learners who don’t know their math facts. He knew before the school year started that I would switch grade levels 6 weeks into the school year. He is in control. He knows my heart and how much I want my kids to succeed. He knows that He will equip me to help them, and that I need to rely on Him and His strength.
Sometimes, in the heat of pressure I forget what life is like outside of pressure. I forget that is is beautiful outside. I forget that God is with me. I forget that God will provide. I am so thankful that God doesn’t forget me when I forget Him. I am so thankful that God is far more faithful that I can imagine. I am thankful that God is God, and that I am not.