Being a mom is a hard job. When I was a teacher having bad days, I thought naively that if I could just be a stay at home mom, things would be so much simpler. I’ll have a baby who loves me and isn’t so complicated. I was beyond wrong. Being a mom is such a hard balancing act.
Today’s real moment is brought to you by a request.
Last night before bed Lydia: Mom, make butterflies?
Me: No, it is almost bedtime.
This morning straining with effort I saw Lydia trying to get a tub out from the cupboard.
Me: If you need help, ask for it. (Which is a nice reminder to ask for help rather than screaming in frustration.)
Lydia: Help please.
I got the tub out. Me: What are you wanting in the tub?
Lydia: Make butterflies.
Me: Do you want to play with the butterflies? (There were a few that were already made, and to be honest, this meant less of a mess for me.)
Lydia: No, make butterflies.
So, I had a decision to make. I could tell her no, again. This would mean less of a mess for me to clean up after. I looked over at the counter, and yes, there were tons of dishes that needed attention. If she played with the premade ones, that meant I could get to the dishes.
Me: Do you want to play with these cards? (I chose to try and distract her instead. The cards would make a mess too, but I hoped she’d be happy with them long enough for me to clean the dishes.)
Lydia getting out the box of popsicle sticks: No, make butterflies.
To be honest, I have missed a lot of opportunities with my girls by focusing on trying to keep the house running. I wanted to be present in this moment and not let it pass. Lydia clearly wanted to make butterflies. And so I cut the paper, and she glued it to popsicle sticks. I thought she’d be happy with 3, but she wanted more. So she made 7. My floor still has all of the tiny pieces of paper she cut up on the floor and all of the supplies are still out. BUT, I was present in the moment. I got to help her while she still wants and needs my help. I am glad I was present. These will eventually get done.